I have been reflecting, loyal reader, on how suddenly hy whole self0image and perception of the world has shifted since losing Lex (Kathy let me know that the doctors told her it was a boy when they performed the procedure). I suddenly feel much older. More seasoned, if you will.
Anticipating the baby and preparing for his arrival required a lot of discipline. I had to learn to get my financial affairs in order and save money, make sacrifices and learn all I could to be a good dad. I will not get to apply this knowledge, but I will be carrying it with me for the rest of my life. There might be other children in the future, but for now I can only go with what happened this week. One thing I know for sure is that my world isn’t the same anymore.
It’s a lot like people’s perception of the world changed on September 11, 2001. On a personal level, this is what it feels like. It’s like my youth has passed and now there is seriousness and responsibility.
Heavy thoughts, loyal reader, especially headed for a Friday.
Chez Seb 
Leave a comment